Breastfeeding

It’s World Breastfeeding Week, a week set aside to encourage breastfeeding in expectant mothers and show support for those who are currently nursing their children.  I have been breastfeeding my children pretty much for the last seven years.  There were a couple small breaks when I weaned my toddlers to get ready for the birth of a new baby, but for the most part I’ve been nursing.  I love nursing.  I will admit that it’s easy for me.  It can be exhausting, and yes, there are some not-so-awesome parts, but most of it is really, really wonderful.  So, in honor of it being World Breastfeeding Week, I threw together My Top 5 Breastfeeding Moments. 5. The Beach Shun. This summer our family went on our annual trip to the beach.  It was just a regular beach, not a conservative, cover all your extremities beach (Do those even exist?).  I mean, there were Mennonites in long dresses and bonnets, but most people were scantily clad in their swim suits.  The baby got hungry so I sat down, threw a light linen shawl over myself, and began nursing her.  Along comes a woman with her two pre-teen children.  She notices me nursing, and her eyes almost pop out of her head.  She shoots me the “how dare you scar my children for life” look, grabs her children close to her, and shields their eyes away from me.  She probably turned them towards the woman wearing the string bikini top who was showing much more boobie than I was.  I’m pretty sure that made my day.  I love irony. 4. Chocolate or Vanilla? I was nursing my son, our second, and my three year old daughter was sitting in the room with me.  My son was quite restless and just couldn’t decide which side he wanted to nurse from.  So we were playing a version of musical boobs.  My daughter noticed the movement and asked why he was switching sides.  I said, “I think he’s trying to decide which one tastes better.”  Her reply, “Oh, is one side chocolate?” 3.Quattro Leches. There was that one time I made a Quattro Leches cake instead of a Tres Leches cake.  Tres Leches means “three milks” in Spanish, and the cake requires three types of milk to make it.  I needed to nurse the baby while I was making the cake–I know what you are thinking, and no, I didn’t go there.  But technically, it did take four kinds of milk in order to achieve the finished product, hence the new name for the cake.  Did you have the same reaction as the others I told this story to? 2. The First Let Down. Perhaps, like any new mom, I had fears about breastfeeding.  I feared that my milk would never come in.  I was tired,  emotional, hormonal, etc. after giving birth and feared that I wouldn’t be able to nurse.  And then my milk came in . . . and then it came out.  One side got tapped and there went the other side.  Woah!  How does one turn off the plumbing on these things? 1. The First Latch On. And now for my top breastfeeding moment.  I have four children, and the first time they latched on and suckled was an amazing moment.  My first born did not get the opportunity until she was one month old.  After a few weeks of nutrition through an IV and then on to a bottle to get her stomach used to food, I was able to “pump out” (basically pump my breast dry) and attempt to let her latch on.  Being a month old, and much more alert than a newborn, she looked right up at me and we just stared at each other as she suckled.  It.Was.Awesome.  The first latch ons with my other children, directly after birth, were amazing as well.  Knowing that your body can switch gears, just like that, and produce milk for your baby is amazing.  I love breastfeeding!

Breastfeeding is hard. Yep. I said it. I have nursed all my children, and I am committed to nursing any future children, but it is hard. Sometimes it seems that those of us that are able to nurse our babies either forget to mention this, or don’t like to tell new moms it is hard. Maybe we don’t want to scare them off from trying. Maybe the bonding minimizes this fact. Maybe we are so tired that we forget how hard it can be. I feel fortunate in a way that I was largely unaware of the breast feeding issues that many mothers deal with when I was preparing to give birth to my oldest son. I was just committed to breastfeeding. I had no idea that PCOS potentially increases the chance of difficulties. I did not know that a c-section could delay my milk coming in. I did not know it could be painful, or that my supply might not be strong enough. I knew nothing about latch or positions. I certainly did not know anything about engorgement or clogged ducts. Our first nursing attempt set the course for the rest of our time nursing. The nurse handed him to me and he was already sucking on his fist! I found it incredibly difficult to hold him with my left hand because of the way the IV was inserted, so the nurse (a lactation consultant) helped me figure out the football position. He nursed in that position through road trips, family gatherings, and six months of coming into work with me. Aside from the initial pain that made me feel as though I was a lanolin addict, we had an uneventful time nursing, I thought. I pumped most of the time at work (with a single Medela hand pump) for multiple reasons: I could pump faster than he could eat, I couldn’t afford nursing wear, and the thought of nursing in my cubicle freaked me out. I also never once nursed him in public unless it was in the back seat of our vehicle. I thought our experience was pretty normal. I was expecting the same results with my daughter. Not so much. I found myself mumbling to myself, “Are you new?!” on an hourly basis. I had a slower recovery with her, and it felt as though everything was awful. The first few weeks with her my nipples were on fire. While I was no longer working outside the home at this point, we had a latch issue. I could not feed her in the only position I knew (in part because of another crazily placed IV) and I found it near impossible to express any milk with a hand pump because I was so completely stressed out. At this point I had read that I used lanolin too often with my first child (so I was obviously the devil), and I just felt as though I could get no relief! She would latch only to stop to look around, rinse, repeat. She never once fell asleep while nursing and she was always at her most alert while eating. Feeding her took 90 minutes at each session and I was exhausted. When I asked her pediatrician about the issues, she told me to use two pillows. I felt silly calling or asking for help after that, so I just buckled down and decided that she and I would just have to figure it out together. So we did. I threw the football hold out the window, and reminded myself that this too shall pass. As she grew and wasn’t so new, I kept trying. Within a few weeks we had a rhythm. (So much of a rhythm, that I forgot about introducing solids, but that is a story for another time!) Despite my commitment to nursing, I still have yet to nurse past five and a half months. No one told me that nursing bras were evil incarnate. Each time, I stuck out a few months in those awful things before returning to my normal bras for a few months. Once they were sufficiently destroyed, I would give up, switch to formula, and start feeding them baby food.I am now nursing my three month old son. (Has it really been that long?) I feel more nursing savvy, in part because of research and experience, but I am also prepared. I am at home with three children now. Avoiding nursing in public is just not possible. I knew this would be the case, and since we have saved virtually every baby item from the older kids, I decided to invest in some nursing tops, quality nursing bras, and a few baby wearing items for kicks. I cannot stress enough that this has made all the difference. Sure, I went through a period of feeling “touched out” (I was blessed this time though to not go through even the shortest period of fiery nipples.) but nursing doesn’t feel like a burden and it certainly is not the frustrating debacle it has been for me in the past. I am more confident in my ability to nurse my child, and I am working towards extending the time I spend exclusively breast feeding. I am still a little hesitant when nursing in public, but there is more breast exposed in a Victoria’s Secret ad than there is when I am trying to whip it out while holding a frenzied baby. (This is also why nursing wear is my new favorite thing ever and I can’t believe I nursed two children without a single nursing top.) To all new moms reading this: Do what works! I write this as a nursing mom wanting to be honest. Yes, nursing can suck. (Pun intended!) It is not all sweetness and light. There are days that the mere brush of a cotton t-shirt makes me want to scream in pain, and there are days were I could nurse all day long and doze in and out of sleep contently.

It is a perfect spring day. My toddler just went down for a nap, and my baby is hungry. I settle unto the sofa next to a steaming cup of herbal tea and a good book. A vague feeling of uneasiness briefly brushes my consciousness, but I ignore it. I snuggle in with my son, cover him with a soft blanket, and begin to nurse. I look at his perfect face and his long baby eyelashes. As I marvel at this wondrous little person in my arms, I feel like the most blessed woman alive. I giggle out loud as he smiles in his sleep, I – WHAM. I am hit by a sudden wave of sadness. It’s a physical feeling; my heart plunges to my toes, my stomach churns. I continue gazing into my precious son’s face, but my thoughts change. Now I am preoccupied by tragedy. How sad that he was hungry, that he was cold, that he was lonely… What if he felt abandoned while I was reading to his sister? What if he feels unloved? What if he’s picked last for the neighborhood soccer team? How will I ever tell him about slavery? The holocaust? I mentally shake myself, trying to break free of this feeling, when another wall of grief crashes on me. This one takes me down, sucks me into a black hole of sadness. I am falling, falling…. And then, it’s over. I’m back in my living room again, cozy and comfortable, in love with my family, in love with my life. My son is happily nursing, eyeing me sideways and making contented little baby sighs. What on earth just happened? When I first experienced this strange phenomenon, it was rather mild, and I attributed it to my changing postpartum hormones. But as time passed, it only became more frequent and intense. I knew I wasn’t depressed, so what was going on? Why did I feel like I was losing my mind every time I nursed? Where were all the warm fuzzy feelings I’d had nursing my first child? So, like any good millennial, I started Googling, and I came across the term dysphoric milk ejection reflex, or D-MER. According D-MER.org:“Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a condition affecting lactating women that is characterized by an abrupt dysphoria, or negative emotions, that occur just before milk release and continuing not more than a few minutes.” According to the website, D-MER appears to be caused by a sudden drop of dopamine levels triggered by the milk ejection (let down) reflex of the mother. When I read that, I felt instant relief. So I wasn’t crazy! This is actually a thing! So I took to my breastfeeding Facebook group, excited to share and find others like me. No one answered my post.I talked to my midwife, who had heard of it but had never met anyone who had it. In my internet research, I found that the phenomenon has only been described in a handful of places in the last ten years, and besides a case study, little if any serious research has been done into the matter. I hope this changes. I hope more women come forward and share their experiences, and that the scientific community takes notice. I’m two months postpartum now. And while I love nursing and I relish the connection with my son, D-MER continues to be a struggle. It doesn’t happen every time I nurse, and sometimes I hardly notice it. Sometimes it happens when I’m not nursing, like when I get a random let down while doing the dishes. I’m doing my best to take care of myself, to keep sharing with my husband and my family, and to do more research on my own. I find I’m better when I distract myself or do things to keep my baseline dopamine levels higher, such as when I exercise and take my vitamins. But I will likely deal with this as long as I’m nursing. This experience has been a wonderful reminder for me that while motherhood is a joy and a privilege, it can also be a challenge. And most importantly, that it is a task that was never meant to be undertaken alone. So whether you deal with D-MER, postpartum depression, milk supply or nursing issues, exhaustion, a strong willed child, too much to do and too little time, or you simply feel overwhelmed by the task of raising a human being, you are not alone. Never be ashamed to reach out, engage in your community, and ask for help. We’re all in this together.

Lactilou’s Breastfeeding Tips Preparing to Breastfeed Your Baby: By Carol Frient What is the best way to ensure a positive breastfeeding experience? Many first time mothers have decided to breastfeed, but may wonder “what’s the big deal? I’ll put the baby on and all will be fine.” Sometimes we as mothers are surprised that it does take work and preparation! Some issues surrounding breastfeeding can be solved before birth. The moments immediately after birth and in the first few days are also important to forming your breastfeeding journey with your baby. 1. Take a Breastfeeding class.Practice positioning the baby. Baby should have a wide open mouth and the nipple should be far back in the baby’s mouth. Babies can have their noses touching the breast (they won’t suffocate) and remember to bring the chin in close enough to make a dent in the breast tissue! 2. Get a Breast Pump.If you are a working mom, explore the best breast pump options available. Know that most insurances will provide a pump at no cost! They can do so right after birth and some hospitals have them available and can bill your insurance company right there at the hospital. 3. Eat a Healthy Diet.Eat a diet as close to nature as possible to ensure your health and the baby’s health. Feeling your best helps with breastfeeding. 4. Have as few drugs as possible during childbirth.This will allow your baby to be more awake, alert and ready to nurse after they are born. 5. Practice Kangaroo Care.Most hospitals want you to participate in kangaroo care-placing your baby skin to skin for at least the first hour. You may want to arrange to be alone at this time without visitors (unless you welcome grandma and she allows you to do skin to skin uninterrupted with no begging to hold. Know that babies can self-attach during this early period and have the first positive breast feed. 6. Learn how to hand express milk.There are several good videos on hand expression on youtube. This can help with engorgement and getting milk for the baby who will not latch. 7. Offer the breast early and often.If the baby does not latch right away you can hand express and offer the baby the breast milk in a syringe or on a plastic spoon. 8. Colostrum is Liquid Gold.Colostrum is the first milk you produce, and it comes in small amounts about 5 mls or enough to fit in a teaspoon. This is just the right amount for the baby in the early days. Your breast will remain soft during this period. Offer your breast as often as your baby wants but at least every 2-3 hours around the clock with possibly one four hour stretch at night. Babies who eat early and often have less chance of getting jaundice. 9. Your milk will come in around day 3 postpartum.Some fullness on the third to fifth day is normal, Extreme fullness of the breast or engorgement is not normal and needs to be treated as soon as possible to avoid losing your supply. Frequent milk removal 8 or more times a day either by the baby or if necessary a pump can ensure that you do not lose your supply. Pumping and softening the breast before offering the baby the breast can help the baby to latch. Remember, a baby usually will not latch when the breast is extremely firm due to engorgement. By the end of the first week you will be making around 20oz per day of milk. 10. Don’t give up hope if breastfeeding is difficult.If the baby does not latch, you can give bottles with confidence at least 2 ounces per feed, 8 times or more. Keep pumping every 2-3 hours until baby can latch, and keep pumping until baby latches every time. Patience and determination no matter the obstacles will help. Happy Breastfeeding! Carol Frient has been reaching out to mothers since 1981 through La Leche league for 25 years, WIC for 14 years and through Akron Children’s Hospital’s NICU, and Alliance Community Hospital, representing a total commitment to supporting breastfeeding on the grassroots level. She was a Finalist of the 2016 United States Lactation Consultant Association Award of Excellence. Carol has established mothers meetings, organized and supported conferences, taught at pregnancy support centers, established the Stark County Breastfeeding Task Force, the Lactation Station Café, volunteered for the Stork’s Nest through the March of Dimes, furthered her education, and led the way in the community to promote and sustain breastfeeding thousands of mothers over the years. She advocates for banked donor breast milk as the next best choice when mother’s own milk is not available. Carol believes all the extra oxytocin released during breastfeeding is a key to attachment, empathy, and love in the future and that will help to make a better world for all people! Her passion and dedication have been showcased in her years of work as an IBCLC, and she is an excellent example of the many ways in which one IBCLC can affect multitudes of families.